Coming Attack-Tions: Poo: Blood and Honey

 coming Attack-Tions: is a column where I will be reviewing the elusive and mysterious film trailer. 

This is unsuitable for anyone at all. Viewing discretion is advised (was just a telescope) 

Winnie the Pooh: blood and honey

This trailer starts.. Actually pretty awesome! Adult Christopher Robbins returning to 7 acre woods I hope to Introduce his pending bride to his childhood Friends. Upon arivle things look bad. there appears to been some sort of A-poo-calypse… probably the Heffalumps!!! Definitely a Heffalump Ragnarok! 

#Eeyorewasright

Anyways.. The enchanted forest young Christopher left now looks more like the front of Fred Sanford‘s house With set design by Rob Zombie..

And that’s when things go awry.

We are introduced to a group of young women followed by flashes of them Being abducted hunted stalked inevitably more than likely adding to their Gruesome untimely demise. The masks look creepy, or I should say they would look creepy if not burdened by the confusion brought on that the killers in question were supposed to be sentient animated stuffed animals and not dirty folks in masks. 

This movie doesn’t look bad there are flourishes within the trailer that look great. There are a few Images that Bring things to mind such as of high tension or The descent.  A rainy day bleakness and interesting use of both natural and interestingly lit sets. 

In a rare bit of aparent truth in advertising, This trailer promises absolutely positively zero innovation aside from its outlandish premise. It would seem wini the poo Blood and honey is leaning towards the new trend of very well shot very mean edge Lord content.

This doesn’t look like A fun free wheeling slasher it looks like Terrifier in a cartoon bear cosplay! 

I’m Very much here for this new wave of Classic children’s Content presented as a gruesome horror films. There is a lot of delicious fruit to be harvested if this wave of “Bloodsoaked nostalgia” (TM)  becomes a legitimate movement and not just a few blips on the radar. 

It’s not only good business but a pretty cathartic concept to have your childhood favorites grow up with you. I really enjoyed the banana splits Westworld style slasher. It seems like I may be the only one but I feel like I got the joke where a lot of folks didn’t. 

There doesn’t appear to be a joke here and if there is it may be entirely reliant on its Ludicrous elevator pitch.

I also have a feeling that there’s some sort of ridiculous twist or swerve here, And that gives me an uncomfortable rumbling in my Tum Tum. 

Two concepts that are on display in this trailer are very uneven. The concept of an iconic Audience Surrogate facing the consequences of a reality he created and abandoned versus the downtrodden nature of a edgy slaughter fest.

I’m pretty excited for this despite myself or moreover the trailers apparent admittance of zero mental calories.

Everything about this glorious coming calamity is perched on a slippery slope. It’s too-apparent concepts, familiar tropes and even maybe a crazy twist are all balancing on the same thin tight rope right next to the enormous juggernaut that is The fact that this thing actually exists!!

Did you like this trailer?

A lot

I liked it fine  X

Not so much

I hated it

Would do you see this movie?

Absolutely

I’m interested X

Maybe

Not a chance